Mati

Kau tahu apa yang "dibunuh berulang kali, tapi tetap hidup kembali"?

Bahagian hati yang aku asing dan simpan untuk kau.
Rasa yang aku pendam, hanya untuk aku luah pada kau.

Kali ini, aku akan pastikan ianya mati dan terkubur tanpa bisa terlepas keluar.

Overwhelmed

There are a lot of thing going on lately that makes me feel like I am in the middle of the ocean. Gasping for air, trying so hard not to drown. I have many commitments of which I first thought I can handle because I was like "Yeah, I am so back to the time when I was in the pre-uni." Well, I am wrong. Deadly wrong. This does not feel or look like three years ago. This is worst. I have both curricular and co-curricular engagements that are all practical. I mean I have to participate in meetings, do projects, do fundraising, and all sorts of the so-called student's activity. Hah! This is very funny considering that I am a very roomy person. I get attached to my room. Very. While I am writing this, I am in the middle of mid-semester break which I should be relaxing, lazying around the house like a lazy big old cat. But aha! No. I am trying to finish every single forum on the online learning portal, narrowing down possible future employer, proofreading a research proposal, managing an event, and brainstorming for several researches, and projects. This is utter madness. I am so going to have a good long rest afterwards. I need to be stranded on an island, and shall I live there forever. I do not care anymore at this point. I really need to escape from this madness ugh!

Incompatible

We are all of different colours, which should be making the world even a brighter place. We blend in together, yes, however we went to the darker shade before turning completely dark. We are bruising each other. We are destroying each other. We are just incompatible.

You

Cool breeze of early October swooshing around us. It was kind of awkward actually. To be able to walk with stranger, well not really since we were classmates. But still, we had been attending the same class which I could not recall talking to you at all. So that day, since I was the only one in my batch who took the class, I figured that I might have to walk alone all the way to the dormitory which was like a thousand miles away. I did not mind though for I could enjoy the air. I think I was about to get out of the building when you came into the view and greeted me. I really did not remember most of the details but yeah we continued walking anyway. As I said before, it was a bit awkward but we managed to warm up. As a curious gentleman, you, of course, asked me a lot of things and I remember telling you that I learned your language though. And you were smiling, saying courageous words for me to continue and even practice it with you. I remember, too, telling you about my favorite rock band from your country and giddily, or rather clumsily, showed you my status for messaging app which was a line from their famous song. It was in front of the first dormitory of the campus and we stopped for a while. You were, again, smiling. Your eyes met mine and you looked so amazed for me being able to speak your language and also know your culture. You then asked for my id for that messaging app. We then continued walking until we were in front of your dormitory. Our dormitories were side by side but I needed to walk extra footsteps because mine happened to be the last and farthest one among all. We said goodbyes and you waited for a moment before you went into your dormitory. The whole journey from the building where our class located to the dormitory felt so slow and so warm and I can still feel it now. Later that night, my phone beeped and you sent me a smiley and asked me "How can I call you? Just Liza?". And our friendship began from there. Or should I say my crush on you began from that very moment?